I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
