Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
