he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
