i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
only you would photoshop your dick
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
