Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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