If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Everything about him screamed your future.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
