Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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