U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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