Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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