whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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