Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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