Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize