And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
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