Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize