I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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