hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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