what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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