If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
