How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
