How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
