My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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