You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize