the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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