I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
