:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
