FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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