The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
