I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
