so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
