He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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