Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
i think my cat just said my name.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
