just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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