okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am naked and annoyed.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
