we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
