My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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