I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
