Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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