She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
