Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
should my penis look like a turkey
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
