I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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