i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
