Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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