Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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