Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize