she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
