Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
