He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
