Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
