she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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