I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
a search helicopter?!
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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