I just cut my nipple shaving
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
