Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
