theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
