I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
