Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
whose parrot is this?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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