oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
