I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
