he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
