I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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