i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
