im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
